Predict Idol

(aired 4/30/08)

We start off with the group number as usual, a combo of Cracklin’ Rosie, Song Sung Blue, and Brother Love’s Traveling Salvation Show. How did Little David get the Brother Love solo? Okay, well, I guess they did throw a bone to More Mature David. There’s also some fancy choreography wherein the girls get up and go sit on the other side of each guy. Inventive. Overall, the number is low on energy and in too low a key for some of them.

Ryan stops in the audience to talk to Idol alumni Constantine Maroulis and Gina Glocksen, who are promoting their hosting gig on American Idol Extra, after which he breezes past a slightly disappointed-looking Ace Young. Sorry, Ace.

The Idol producers have evidently decided to address Paulagate only briefly by having Ryan reaffirm everyone’s love for the befuddled judge. I am personally not a conspiracy theorist and, in fact, choose to be as uncynical as possible regarding manipulation of the results, supposed scripting, etc. by the powers that be. But according to what I’ve read and heard, this flap may be of sufficient importance to Idol’s reputation as to merit a more thorough response. Well, let’s just move on.

Jason Castro is called to the stage. He answers a question from Ryan about his past performances quite smoothly and intelligently. He’s getting better at this interview thing. And yes! he’s in the top four. Cool.

Next is David Archuleta. Paula wants him to show more joy onstage. And she knows joy. Ryan tells him he’s safe. He is acting surprised again.

Ryan calls David Cook, who appears to be taking it as a bad sign that he was called up third out of five when the first two were safe. He is honest in admitting that he thinks Paula’s gushing praise might have been the kiss o’ death. His answers to Ryan’s questions are always candid but diplomatic. I like that. As expected, he’s safe.

So that means Brooke White and Syesha Mercado are the bottom two. Ryan recaps their songs and critiques. Syesha admits song choice has been tough. Actually, it’s pretty amazing she’s still around considering some of the stinkers she’s picked. Brooke says she kicked into happy, grateful mode last night. Uh-oh, when that switch flipped for Carly, she went home. However, Ryan sends them to the couch temporarily. It’s okay with Brooke: “We’ll stay as long as we can.” I do like her sense of humor.

Natasha Bedingfield is here to perform “Pocketful of Sunshine.” She’s a better singer than I realized. Excellent performance. Ryan makes like he’s going to have Simon critique her. I was kind of wondering what he would have said about it. But it’s just a fake-out.

Call-in segment time, blah, blah, blah. The unfortunate recipient of Simon’s first kiss (at age 9) is one of the callers. It’s the first time this part of the show has been even mildly amusing, in my opinion.

The Ford music video is “Catch the Wind,” and it’s far less frenetic than the last few.

Finally, it’s time for Neil Diamond. He’s singing “Pretty Amazing Grace.” It’s hard to believe the man is 67 years old. He sounds as good as ever. His mother is in the audience. He has some kind words and advice for the contestants. A class act, that man.

Brooke and Syesha are still waiting. Ryan calls them to center stage. And without further ado, leaving us tonight is … Brooke White. She cries even harder than Alaina Whitaker at being eliminated.

Thus ends one of Idol’s most memorable journeys. And with it Burke’s hopes of having correctly predicted the winner right after the auditions. Well, he came a lot closer than the cats and and I did (natashiablachandrobbiecarrico—ahem). Who? Yeah. Well, at least Brooke’s departure widens the gap between the humans and the cats as far as season predictions go. See the OVERALL STANDINGS in the left sidebar. Bunny … out.

SCORES

Bunny: 1 out of 1
Right about Brooke White
(Bunny’s Bomb: 0 out of 1)

Burke: 1 out of 1
Right about Brooke White
(Burke’s Turkey: 1 out of 1)

Prognosticats: 0 out of 1
Wrong about Jason Castro
(Prognosticats’ Hairball: 0 out of 1)

Since Burke was sick and didn’t get to see the show until today, he wasn’t able to get his predictions in at the usual time. Since we still have a couple of hours before the top 5 results show airs, we thought we’d post them now in order to keep the overall standings accurate.

Burke’s Turkey is Brooke White, and he thinks that she will also be the one voted off tonight. (Just for the record, his Top Dawg is David Cook.)

See you in a bit!

(aired 4/29/08)

Bunny: It’s Neil Diamond night on American Idol. His repertoire of haunting melodies and catchy tunes should provide plenty of opportunities for the Idols to shine. I may be in the minority with that opinion, but that’s okay.

Time is so tight that the contestants don’t get the full critique after round one. Instead, they’re lassoed into a group, and the judges shoot comments at them firing squad-style. Ms. Abdul beams down from Planet Paula, where inhabitants can apparently foresee the future, and critiques both of Jason’s songs before he has even done the second one.

Sadly, Burke is sick and won’t be able to add his comments. You’ll have to listen to my ramblings tonight. Well, you don’t have to. You could go read something intelligent and meaningful.

A reminder of how our rating system works: Half a paw is the worst. Four paws is awarded for the most outstanding performances.

Jason Castro

“Forever In Blue Jeans”
Perfect song for him. He plays the guitar, and his voice sounds really good. It’s a charming performance along the lines of his earlier “Daydream Believer.” And the girl on the violin with the sunglasses is very cool.

“September Morn”
No guitar for this song. He seems more confident this week. I think Neil’s songs really suit him. The judges aren’t impressed. I think they’re too harsh, but then again, any regular reader of this blog knows Jason is my personal favorite.

David Cook

“I’m Alive”
He gives Neil goosebumps, but not me this time. It’s not bad, but rough rocker voice is not as pleasant to my ear as his “Music of the Night” voice last week. It’s still good, and he’s not in any danger.

“All I Really Need Is You”
He swaps his electric guitar for an acoustic. He strays so much from the melody that it’s hardly recognizable until he sings the title. I don’t like this arrangement for this particular song. Apparently, Simon does. And why does the cameraman have to stand behind the windshield wiping robots? Arrgh.

Brooke White

“I’m A Believer”
It’s Brooke, bellbottoms, and a big guitar. It’s so nice to see her doing something upbeat again. Her smile seems a bit forced, though. I’m not wowed, but it’s an improvement from last week.

“I Am I Said”
She takes Neil’s advice and changes “New York” to “Arizona” in the lyric. Maybe she feels like she has nothing to lose after last week; she seems loose and quite comfortable. Her voice comes across beautifully, and I think it’s one of her best. She needed that. It still might not be enough to save her, but good for her.

David Archuleta

“Sweet Caroline”
I was skeptical at first, but I like what he’s doing with it. I mean, he sings every song exactly the same way, but it’s almost always well done. It was more enjoyable than I expected it to be.

“America”
It is a calculated choice not unlike Kristy Lee Cook’s Lee Greenwood song a few weeks ago. If he gets voted off tonight, it will be because a meteor the size of Amanda Overmyer’s hair wiped out all the prepubescent girls, grannies, and anyone who can claim American citizenship, preventing them from punching in David’s number a googillion times.

Syesha Mercado

“Hello Again”
She has been Beyoncified for tonight’s first performance. I’m hoping she does justice to one of my favorite ND songs, and I think she does. She seems genuine to me, for the first time. I like the new Syesha.

“Thank The Lord For The Nighttime”
With the backup singers and horns, it has an old-fashioned vibe, but I think the way she performs makes it what the judges like to call “relevant,” although they probably won’t agree. Tonight is the first time I’ve felt like she is a real competitor for the title. Simon and I are not on the same wavelength tonight at all. Usually we are.

PREDICTIONS

Bunny: It’s tough to pick Bunny’s Bomb tonight because I thought they all did well. In spite of the fact that David Cook is one of my overall favorites, I have to admit I liked his performances least tonight.

Who do I think will actually be leaving? I would guess, once again, that it’s the end of the line for Brooke White.

Prognosticats: We proclaim the Hairball Performance to be by Syesha Mercado. However, voters will say goodbye to Jason Castro.

Bunny: Between the two songs, both Brooke White and Syesha Mercado earned 6 paws from me. I’d have to give the edge to Syesha, simply because I had given her 3 and 3, as opposed to 2.5 and 3.5 for Brooke, thus making her more consistent, although the single best performance in my book was Brooke’s.

Prognosticats: As is our custom, we abstain from anything that involves dawgs.

Bunny: See you tomorrow night for the results!

(aired 4/23/08)

Bunny: After a surprisingly good night of musical theater, we are about to find out which of the six remaining contestants haven’t made the cut.

Andrew Lloyd Webber himself plays the piano for the opening group number, “That’s All I Ask Of You,” which the Idols sing quite well.

After a recap of last night’s highlights and lowlights, Ryan has a sit-down with Lord Webber, who talks about the unique requirements of singing musical theater. Poor Brooke’s restart is brought up again, and ALW kindly mentions that her dress rehearsal was flawless. However, his opinion of Jason’s song choice and receptiveness to advice is not as positive. He also aims a few good-natured jabs at Simon.

The Ford music video is set to “Tainted Love,” and it gives me nightmarish flashbacks of He Who Has Ruined That Song Forever. Punked-up Brooke looks less G-rated in the video than we’ve ever seen her. Then there’s a clip of President and Mrs. Bush thanking viewers for their contributions during Idol Gives Back.

Tonight there are only two stools set aside for the bottom-dwellers. Whose unfortunate fannies will fill them?

We start with the Davids. There’s lots of chatter before Ryan gives the results. David Cook says he decided to sing “Music of the Night” in a predictable way in order to be unpredictable. David Archuleta answers a question from Ryan, but I wasn’t really paying attention. The Chosen Ones are both safe. Cut to Jason yawning backstage.

We’re back from commercial, and there’s a short film about the former contestants who have been performing on Broadway since their Idol appearances, most notably Tamyra Gray and Clay Aiken.

Now we finally get to see Britain’s X Factor winner, Leona Lewis, on the Idol stage. She does her single “Bleeding Love.” She sounds pretty good. She has kind of a Kristy Lee Cook horseback stance while she sings, and she doesn’t really connect with the camera, but I can see, or rather, hear, why there’s been so much hype surrounding her. I think Ryan is starstruck.

Finally, back to the results. Syesha Mercado and Brooke White are called to center stage. Asked about her performance last night, Syesha uses the word “fun” about 36 times. Ryan asks Brooke about her false start and the fact that she didn’t yammer at the judges last night. She doesn’t regret the way she handled the flub, and she apologizes for having interrupted the judges in the past. She is declared safe, and Syesha is in the bottom two. Poor Miss Mercado. She looks disheartened that after such a good performance, she still can’t buy a spot on the safe couch.

The remaining two top-sixers, Carly and Jason, are called front and center. Jason is muttering to himself nervously. There is discussion of his train wreck/wedding performance. He makes the choo-choo sign, which gets a laugh. Carly talks about her decision to have more fun from now on. Jason is … safe. And Carly joins Syesha on the silver stools.

Burke is complaining in my ear that the worst two from last night are safe. I am okay with that, because I don’t think a person should be voted off for one bad night. Do Carly and Syesha deserve to be the bottom two? No, but at this point in the competition, no one really does. Them’s just the breaks, man. Besides, Burke picked Brooke White to win right after the auditions. You’d think he’d be happy. My pick, Robbie Carrico, is long gone. Yeah, that’s right, Robbie Who?

Carly and Syesha reprise “Superstar” and “One Rock and Roll Too Many.” They aren’t quite as good as last night, but that’s certainly understandable since neither knows whether they are singing their last ditty on the Idol stage.

So who gets to perform as one of the top five next week? It will be Syesha. Carly has to say goodbye. It’s a little early for her to go, but maybe our favorite tattooed lady can ride the Idol momentum into success this time. Simon tells her she can leave with her head held high. She seems okay with the decision.

So Carly Smithson joins Christina Christian, Carmen Rasmusen, John Stevens, Constantine Maroulis, Kellie Pickler, and Phil Stacey, from Seasons 1 through 6 respectively, as American Idol 6th-place finishers.

SCORES

Bunny: 0 out of 1
Wrong about Brooke White
(Bunny’s Bomb: 0 out of 1)

Burke: 0 out of 1
Wrong about Brooke White
(Burke’s Turkey: 0 out of 1)

Prognosticats: 0 out of 1
Wrong about Jason Castro
(Prognosticats’ Hairball: 0 out of 1)

Bunny: How did our guest commenters do? No better than the regulars this time. Dew Bew and ALBERT also wrongly predicted Brooke White’s ouster. We feel your pain, guys. We’re hardly ever right, either. ?

Neil Diamond is the mentor next week, woo-hoo! Can’t wait to see what they do. (Yes, I know most of America probably isn’t as excited as I am about that, but I don’t care.) See you then!

(aired 4/22/08)

Bunny: It’s the music of Andrew Lloyd Webber on American Idol tonight. If Ryan doesn’t stab Rickey Minor through the heart with the conductor’s baton before we even get started.

We are thrilled to have two guest commenters with us. First is Dew Bew, who is 14 years old. Her commentary is sure to be entertaining. We also have Albert, whose name I have just been informed must be expressed in all caps. If those are your terms, ALBERT, okay, whatevs.

Syesha Mercado

“One Rock and Roll Too Many”
Bunny: Interesting that she blames the fact that she hasn’t been showing much personality on the musical themes. Hmmm. Now why couldn’t she have performed like this all along? Her vocals are impeccable as always, but her improved stage presence may be too little too late.

Burke: Syesha finally comes alive. She looks great; she sounds great. Her best came at a good time. Wow.

Dew Bew: I loved it. Her performance was amazing. I agree with Randy that she would be a good Broadway star.

ALBERT: Good job; I don’t have anything bad to say about her performance.

Jason Castro

“Memory”
Bunny: My new favorite Season 7 quote: “I didn’t know a cat was singing it.” Jason, Jason. Also, he’s dressed for disco night, but let’s put that aside for a moment. It pains me to say this, but it is not a shining moment for the dreadlocked dude. It isn’t terrible, but he could be in big trouble, unless someone else bombs.

Burke: Too much makeup, too breathy. Good effort, but it didn’t work.

Dew Bew: He should do some research on the songs he sings. I didn’t like the way he sang it, and Randy was right: it was a train wreck. I am thinking about giving him half a paw. Okay, I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt.

ALBERT: The interview. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Nothing like doing a little research on the song you’re doing. Definitely agree with the breathing into the mic. Work on that. I used to like that song.

Brooke White

“You Must Love Me”
Bunny: Poor Brooke. Her second false start this season, and this one is big. She pulls it together on her second attempt, but is it the slam-dunk she needs? If it hadn’t been for that snafu, I think I would believe it was. But I felt so bad for her, it was hard to concentrate on the performance. Putting that aside, I’ll give the actual singing 3 paws.

Burke: Another do-over? I liked her performance but it wasn’t great. This may be the end for her.

Dew Bew: She messes up and she kind of puffs into the microphone like she doesn’t have enough air. She’s a good singer; I like her dress.

ALBERT: I don’t think they wanted to hear Paula’s comments; they shut her down.

David Archuleta

“Think Of Me”
Bunny: Good tip from ALW to keep his eyes open. I like when the mentors aren’t afraid to give honest advice. This is the first week in quite a while that I’ve been truly impressed with Little David. He’s always been good, but I’ve been mostly a tad bored. I disagree with Simon this time and think it’s one of his best.

Burke: It was a good performance, though somewhat mechanical. He worked out the lip-smacking, now the closed-eye thing—what will he do next?

Dew Bew: He hit the high notes great and did a woman’s part flawlessly—yes, flawlessly. I liked it and I gave him 3 paws.

ALBERT: If I had an expressionless robot that sang, that’s what it would look like. He sang it perfectly but with no expression.

Carly Smithson

“Superstar”
Bunny: She seems much more relaxed, and she looks great. She would benefit by keeping her eyes open a little more, too, but she kills it. She’s a little over-happy after the performance, though.

Burke: I like her attitude and emotion. I’m glad she changed her song. She brought the show to life. One of her best efforts.

Dew Bew: I like her deeper voice. She put her soul into it, but she closed her eyes a lot when she went up higher.

ALBERT: Big voice. Nice to see someone move on the stage tonight. The chorus was not so good except when she was freestyling; it was a little too high for her voice. The Word-Of-The-Day calendar thing is working out well for Ryan, too.

David Cook

“Music Of The Night”
Bunny: Very interesting choice for Cookie, but we have become accustomed to unusual choices from him. Even if I didn’t think this was one of the most beautiful songs ever, I would love this performance. This guy’s awesomeness knows no bounds. I can’t remember there ever being an Idol contestant who was so consistently excellent and who was not intimidated by any theme thrown at him. I am awarding my second-ever 4-paw rating.

Burke: Interesting song choice. I think he pulled it off. I saw a whole new side of David Cook.

Dew Bew: I didn’t like his performance. It was bland, like saltless pork for the eyes. What was with the scarf? I liked Ryan singing, though.

ALBERT: The Miami Vice coat—so ’80s. Wardrobe, wardrobe, wardrobe. Nice voice. I don’t think he told the story of the song.

PREDICTIONS

Bunny: It breaks my heart to say it, but Bunny’s Bomb tonight is Jason Castro. This is the first time that I’ve put him at the bottom of the pack. However, I suspect that Brooke White may be the one eliminated.

Burke: Burke’s Turkey is Jason Castro, but Brooke White will be leaving.

Dew Bew: Dew Bew’s Dud is Jason Castro. But I think America will vote off Brooke White.

ALBERT: ALBERT’S Albatross is Jason Castro. Luckily for him, I think Restart is going home; that being Brooke White.

Prognosticats: Hairball Performance is David Cook. Leaving tomorrow will be Jason Castro.

Bunny: Top Dawg tonight is unquestionably David Cook. Amazing, amazing.

Burke: My Top Dawg is also David Cook. He rocked an unrockable song.

Dew Bew: My Top Dawg is Syesha Mercado.

ALBERT: Top Dawg tonight: Carly Smithson.

Bunny: Many predicted that a night of Broadway tunes would be practically unwatchable. But our six contenders really knocked it out of the park. Well, maybe not all six. A big thank you to our guests tonight, Dew Bew and Albert. Oops, I mean ALBERT. Maybe we can convince them to join us again sometime over the next few weeks.

See you tomorrow night for possibly painful results!

(aired 4/16/08)

Bunny: Is my favorite safe, Ryan? I need to know! Okay, I’ll wait. Grumble, grumble.

The group number is “One Sweet Day,” kicked off by solos from Jason and Kristy. David A. is apparently going through a leather phase. At times it sounds like they’re all singing different songs, each blissfully unaware of the others.

Before we go to last night’s recap, Ryan reminds us that there’s only one week left to vote on the Idol finale song at americanidol.com. There are 20 to choose from. I checked them out last night. Based on one listen, they all sounded like pretty typical Idol-finale fare, lots of dreaming and destiny and believing. There are a few that could be good in the right hands, or should I say, the right vocal cords.

Jason Castro is called out first. He’s starting to induce Archie-level screaming. He is asked to stand to one side of the stage. So we are doing the ridiculous “choose the top three” method for one unlucky contestant, are we? Loverly.

David Cook is told to stand on the opposite side of the stage from Jason. Carly Smithson is called up and is asked to join Jason. Then Kristy Lee Cook is sent to the Cook side. Both she and Carly have some criticism for Simon. Probably not smart. Maybe they feel they have nothing to lose. However, they are in different groups, so they are not both in the bottom three. Unless Idol is really switching it up on us this year.

The Ford commercial shows the Idols as marionettes working in an office. Some interesting subtext here.

Elliott Yamin is here—yay! He sings “Free.” He has jumped aboard the scarf train. At least it’s not a cravat. What a voice. He definitely should have won Season 5. He’s taken a cue from David C. and has written “We miss you, Mom” on his hand.

Ryan next calls Syesha Mercado. She surreptitiously sizes up the two groups. She joins Jason and Carly. Brooke White is called and, of course, is sent to the Cook group. Cook-Brooke-Cook. Little David looks lost backstage.

Now we get the call-in questions, which, as usual, I don’t feel like recapping. What strikes me most about this segment is that Paula is being attacked by her neckwear. A scarf, a necklace, and flowers?

It’s time for Mariah Carey to sing. I’ve never watched a complete Mariah performance. Does she always do that weird thing with her hands? It gives the whole number a very mechanical feel. Apologies to Miss Carey, but I think I would rather listen to Amanda Overmyer. What a coincidence—Mariah’s new CD is in stores today! How nice that it worked out that way! Gosh.

Finally, David A. is called front and center, and he shakes his head backstage, clearly in dread. Ryan declares him safe, and I’m thinking they might not make him choose. But David C. is asked to switch groups with Syesha, and then Ryan does ask David A. to choose which group is safe. Give me a break, Idol. This find-the-ball-under-the-cup game is making it hard for me to write this, and it’s only just begun!

According to unspoken idol tradition, David A. sits down in the middle of the stage, refusing to cooperate. Ryan encourages him to move over toward the safe group, David C., Carly, and Jason. Poor Archie doesn’t catch his drift, which is understandable; I’m confused, too. Ryan has to spell it out for everyone. The safe Idols sit down with Archie. Well, Carly can’t, because her skirt is almost as short as Mariah’s was.

I hate artificial suspense. Just tell us who’s out! Maybe next week, they can have them all sit in a row of chairs, and whoever doesn’t have a note taped to the bottom of their chair is going home, except, no, everybody else’s note says, if your name has an “O” in it, you’re in the bottom three and the person without a note is safe, except if you have ever worn a scarf on the show, switch places with somebody who has used glitter either on their face or body, except if you auditioned in a southern city, please go stand with someone who has played an instrument but only if it was before the top 9, and then everybody please hang from the railing here and the first one to let go is, I’m so sorry, leaving us tonight.

So Kristy Lee, Brooke, and Syesha are the bottom three. After the break, Syesha is sent back to safety. Not the result I want to see. Both Brooke and Cook have more to offer in my opinion.

In the end, saying goodbye tonight is … Kristy Lee Cook. She joins Ryan Starr, Kimberly Caldwell, Jennifer Hudson, Anwar Robinson, Ace Young, and Sanjaya Malakar, from Seasons 1 through 6, respectively, as an American Idol 7th-place finisher.

Now she can go and try to convince that guy to sell Trigger back to her. She begins her song perched on the judges’ table, singing to Simon. I think her sense of humor and attitude deserve more credit than she has been given. Happy trails to you, Kristy!

SCORES

Bunny: 0 out of 1
Wrong about Brooke White
(Bunny’s Bomb: 0 out of 1)

Burke: 0 out of 1
Wrong about Syesha Mercado
(Burke’s Turkey: 0 out of 1)

Prognosticats: 0 out of 1
Wrong about Jason Castro
(Prognosticats’ Hairball: 0 out of 1)

Guest commenter K: 1 out of 1
Right about Kristy Lee Cook

Bunny: For the record, the only one who predicted tonight’s results correctly is our guest commenter, K! Way to go, K! This being-wrong-all-the-time thing is no fun. Burke maintains his one-point lead on Bunny, and three-point lead on the Prognosticats.

It’s Andrew Lloyd Webber tunes next week—see you then!

(aired 4/15/08)

Bunny: It’s Mariah Carey week on American Idol. Not being huge Mariah fans, our relative ignorance of her music may show through, but we think it will be interesting to see who can take on this mega-star’s songs successfully.

We wanted to include an additional point of view, so are pleased to welcome a guest commenter tonight, 12-year-old K! Her comments will be in green.
Keep in mind that we rate the performances with paws. Half a paw is pretty bad. Four paws is the absolute best rating a contestant can get.

David Archuleta

When You Believe
Bunny: As expected, David handles the Mariah theme with ease. There are too many runs, but it’s beautifully done. He doesn’t really bring something different to the table like the other David, but he probably doesn’t need to.

Burke: Another typical Archuleta performance. Good but stiff.

K: Another good one. Moving song. He needs to “believe” … he needs to loosen up. Rock on.

Carly Smithson

Without You
Bunny: She seems much more relaxed this week than last. But I see why she’s not connecting to the audience as well as she should. Even when her eyes are open, you get the sense that she’s not really seeing the audience. She needs to sing to someone.

Burke: Reminded me of Elvira tonight a little bit. Good song. I liked her emotion.

K: Nice song, but a little bit too powerful. She needs to tone it down a little bit for my taste.

Syesha Mercado

Vanishing
Bunny: Syesha’s hair is sparkling tonight, and she looks great. The fact that I’m starting my critique the way Paula does is not a good sign. The last note was terrific. Up until then, I think there were way too many runs. I’m just over her. Also, the title of the song is risky, since Syesha may be “vanishing” tomorrow night.

Burke: I like the dress. I think it’s the best she looked all season. I thought she did a good job on the song; I wasn’t moved by the performance.

K: Good job; the song is okay.

Brooke White

Hero
Bunny: Does she seem extra nervous tonight? She was visibly shaking. Also, I’m beginning to feel that when she plays the piano, she’s too tied to it. As for the vocal, it wasn’t stellar, but it was good, with a few really good moments.

Burke: She picked a big song tonight. I didn’t think she killed it, but it was a moving performance for me.

K: The dress is too much. Nice song.

Kristy Lee Cook

Forever
Bunny: As usual, there are a couple of “ouch” notes, but I thought her voice was well matched to the song. Overall, she nails it. And her personality, I think, is rather appealing.

Burke: I thought she may be out of her league tonight. It wasn’t great, but she’s done worse.

K: Was she dying or singing? She got better as she went, though.

David Cook

Always Be My Baby
Bunny: That lower register is still giving him some problems, and his enunciation is more sloppy than it needs to be. Much better than last week, though. It’s an interesting arrangement.

Burke: I liked the arrangement; I liked the performance. Good job.

K: Not something I would personally listen to, but it was good.

Jason Castro

I Don’t Wanna Cry
Bunny: I wanted to like this more than I did. That’s not to say I didn’t like it; I just didn’t think it was his best. Maybe it’s just that I am not particularly fond of most of Mariah’s songs. But the guitar is very pretty and he gives a classic Jason performance.

Burke: I liked the arrangement, but I’m getting tired of his wimpy voice.

K: I was about to cry because it was so bad. I didn’t enjoy it; I was cringing the whole time.

PREDICTIONS

Bunny: Bunny’s Bomb would have to be Syesha Mercado. I hate to say it, but I think Brooke White might be leaving.

Burke: Burke’s Turkey is Jason Castro. He’s gotta go. I think Syesha Mercado will leave, though.

K: The worst performance tonight was by Jason Castro. But Kristy Lee Cook will be leaving.

Prognosticats: Hairball Performance was by David Cook. Leaving tomorrow will be Jason Castro.

Bunny: I’m changing my Top Dawg from Jason Castro to Kristy Lee Cook. She was such a surprise I forgot to consider her for the Top Dawg honor.

Burke: My Top Dawg is David Cook.

K: My Top Dawg is David Cook.

(aired 4/10/08)

Bunny: After a recap of last night’s Idol Gives Back extravaganza, Ryan informs us that so far the total raised is $60 million. I guess there’s a way to go before they hit a googillion.

Then the top 8 sings “Shout to the Lord” again. I’m sure there will be lots of interesting buzz on the web about that.

After the break, we get a montage of “I’m a Believer” lip-syncing stars. I’d forgotten that they did a similar thing last year, I think with better results.

But let’s get to the results. Brooke White is called to the stage first. Ryan lets her read for herself from the card that she is safe; unfortunately/fortunately, she will not be attending her sister’s wedding on Saturday.

David “Bedhead” Cook is next. He does so much with so little. After some Ryan/Simon banter, he is pronounced safe.

David #2, the Archulator, is up. Who thinks he isn’t safe? Well, you haven’t been paying attention. Of course he is.

Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown are here to sing “No Air.” I just can’t get excited about this song. It sounds like someone’s first attempt at songwriting. I really like Jordin’s voice, though, and I expect that in a few years, as she matures, I’ll become a bigger fan. After the song, Ryan and his helpers present Jordin with awards for sales of her album and singles so far.

It’s time for the Ford commercial, “I Just Want To Celebrate,” which is very colorful.

Ryan calls Jason Castro. He admits he just bought the ukulele last week. Rainbow Man is safe.

Kristy Lee Cook comes out, looking like she’s dreading another trip to the stools. I knew it! I knew as soon as she came out that Ryan was going to tell her she was safe and the three left backstage were the bottom-dwellers.

Michael Johns, Carly Smithson, and Syesha Mercado nervously await their fate while we watch clips from the three frontrunning presidential candidates. Then Ryan asks the judges whether America got the bottom three right. Randy sucks air through his teeth, Paula is typically noncommittal, and Simon thinks America is listening to him. On to another commercial.

This time, Ryan isn’t sending one of them back to the couches, but rather recaps what each of the three sang, and then announces that Syesha … and Carly are safe. Unbelievable. Michael Johns is going home, and everyone is in shock, including Michael. Ryan’s teaser that last year during Idol Gives Back they didn’t eliminate anyone, but this year they are, is kind of mean, although I’m sure it wasn’t his idea.

Michael hasn’t even been the bottom three before. Is this voter complacency at its worst, a consequence of holding the first performance slot of the evening, or is it an accurate reflection of America’s tastes?

Those of you who dodged a bullet tonight, you’d better bring it next week! I’m talking to you, Syesha.

SCORES

Bunny: 0 out of 1
Wrong about Syesha Mercado
(Bunny’s Bomb: 0 out of 1)

Burke: 0 out of 1
Right about Syesha Mercado
(Burke’s Turkey: 0 out of 1)

Prognosticats: 0 out of 1
Wrong about Brooke White
(Prognosticats’ Hairball: 0 out of 1)

Bunny: We’ll see you again next week!

(aired 4/9/08)

Bunny: The Fox channel we usually watch Idol on is still showing a blank screen at 7:33, so I miss the first few minutes and come in just before Ryan starts dancing. It’s going to be an interesting evening.

Ben Stiller is here to convince us to raise a googillion dollars for Idol Gives Back. We’ll try, Ben, we’ll try, if only to keep you from singing again.

The show consists of a variety of celebrity requests for donations, commercials, and performances. Rather than detail every single thing that happens, we’ll just comment on the things that strike us.

Randy and Paula take the stage with “Dance Like There’s No Tomorrow” playing in the background. They look funny without the table in front of them. Paula is so coherent. Why don’t they give her a teleprompter every week?

Carrie Underwood is in a “Desperate Housewives” clip, accused by Teri Hatcher of stealing her man, so Teri steals her song, and indeed, she really does sing “Before He Cheats” on the Idol stage. She does a semi-respectable job, although her thin voice is overpowered by the music. She actually looks a little Amy Davis-esque standing there quavering behind the microphone. I give her a googillion points for bravery.

Mary Murphy threatens to do her trademark scream until we pick up the phone and donate. Okay, okay. I’ll give a kidney, a lung, whatever. An eye. No, ears! I’ll give my ears! Too bad they’re now broken.

Here’s Billy Crystal, introducing “Millie Serus,” also known as Miley Cyrus, and they spend several moments pretending not to know each other as an excuse to recount a list of the accomplishments of each, and then Miley sings. I’m not familiar with her music, but she could be used as an argument against raising the minimum Idol age and, in fact, lowering it. At 15, she’s already a seasoned performer.

Ryan walks through the phone bank manned by Idol contestants, all of whom seem to be talking to actual people calling in to donate. Half an hour into the show, the tally is at $15 million.

Fergie sings, with John Legend on piano. She has good moments and not-so-good moments.

Heart is here! Ann Wilson is Carly in 30 years, assuming Carly has a successful career, which I’m sure she will. Fergie joins them on “Barracuda” and actually does a couple of one-handed cartwheels on stage. Impressive. Maybe she always does that, I don’t know. I’m not a Fergie aficionado.

Kristy Lee Cook has a caller on the line who says she’ll double her donation if Ryan will blow her a kiss on air. He does. Let it never be said that he doesn’t do his part for charity.

Eli and Peyton Manning introduce a clip featuring kids affected by Hurricane Katrina who benefit from Idol aid.

I want to comment on the extraordinary length of time that Victoria Beckham has had the same hairdo, but this is a charity event, and I wouldn’t dream of it. It wouldn’t be fitting.

Bono and Annie Lennox have a report from Africa about children who have lost their family members to AIDS. The kids are adorable. Then Annie performs “Too Many Rivers To Cross” on the Idol stage. She looks and sounds great.

Celine Dion visited South Africa. The children there are not the only ones who look like they need a meal. Good grief, Celine, have a hamburger.

Jimmy Kimmel spends a few minutes roasting Simon, his clothing choices, and his SuperCuts hairstyle, among other things. Simon is a good sport but does get a chance to zing Jimmy back by mentioning how much he loves Jay Leno.

He introduces Carrie Underwood, and she sings “Praying For Time.” She is absolutely a class act, and as with her interpretation of “I’ll Stand By You” last year, I’ll be buying this download if it’s available. Very touching.

Next, Gloria Estefan performs “Get On Your Feet” accompanied by a bevy of dancers and is then critiqued, Randy style, by Sarah Silverman. Sarah then introduces a piece with Forest Whitaker about the prevention of malaria, after which we learn that IGB is up to almost $22 million.

Elliott Yamin is in the audience. I wish he were singing tonight. Reese Witherspoon has a piece from New Orleans about children who know little but poverty and violence, and the Freedom Schools that are helping them.

They unchained the top eight Idol contestants from the phones so they could sing “Seasons of Love” along with a blue-robed choir. Nicely done.

Alicia Keys has a compelling piece from her journey to Africa, where she met a grandmother who has to support her eight grandchildren by digging graves because her four children all died of AIDS.

Miley Cyrus is singing again. Some of her movements are not only bizarre, but a little too “mature” for a 15-year-old, although, next to Britney, I know she’s considered pure as the driven snow.

We see a clip of her and her father, Billy Ray Cyrus, traveling to Kentucky, where 50% of the children live below the poverty line. After-school programs and books are provided for these kids with the help of Idol Aid.

Ryan introduces the “Russian Idol,” Bob, who looks an awful lot like … Robin Williams, in the evening’s most bizarre interlude. That man will be clowning around until the day he dies.

David Spade introduces a film of Brad Pitt’s visit to New Orleans. Over 200,000 people are still displaced. Then Mr. Jolie himself comes out to address the audience, except that his microphone isn’t working, until a saucy microphone person comes out and fixes it for him, joking that she just wanted an excuse to touch Brad Pitt.

Chris Daughtry, with his band, sings “What About Now” in a video clip from Uganda similar to Carrie’s last year.

Now Mariah Carey sings “Fly Like A Bird” with Randy Jackson on bass. Dawg. If I didn’t know who Mariah was, I don’t think this performance would convince me that she’s one of the top female artists of the last couple decades, but what do I know? And what are Paula’s Chihuahuas doing here?

The white-clad top 8 close out the show with “Shout to the Lord.” Syesha’s shorts look out of place. It’s too late for her to pull a Haley Scarnato.

In the spirit of Idol Gives Back, anything donated to the Prognosticats’ Tuna Tip Jar (in the right sidebar) by midnight tomorrow (April 10, 2008) will be passed along 100% to Idol Gives Back. Thank you for your generosity. Join us tomorrow night for the results.

(aired 4/8/08)

Bunny: Ryan “Jimmy Neutron” Seacrest opens the show, reminding us of tomorrow night’s Idol Gives Back and the special Thursday results show. Tonight’s theme is inspirational songs.

Michael Johns

“Dream On” by Aerosmith
Bunny: This is exactly the type of song I expected him to sing. That might be part of the reason I haven’t become a rabid Michael fan. He never surprises me. Then again, neither does Jason, and yet I’m a rabid Jason fan. I am an enigma wrapped in a terrycloth robe, I guess. Anyway, back to Michael. His performance is mediocre and kind of shouty. His defense of “Dream On” as an inspirational song is basically a rehash of Carly’s “Blackbird” argument.

Burke: First, why the sudden interest in neckwear? Second, when did Randy become Simon? Third, I thought it was a karaoke performance, but it was a good karaoke performance. I didn’t think he’d try the high notes. I enjoyed it.

Syesha Mercado

“I Believe” by Fantasia
Bunny: Uh-oh, she’s trying a Fantasia song. Of course, I’m not a big Fantasia fan, so I’ll probably like Syesha’s version better. Yes, I do. She hits a high-high-high note near the end with apparent ease. Randy and Simon are right that she can’t rival Fantasia’s unique vibe, and that we still don’t really know Miss Mercado. But technically, there isn’t much to complain about.

Burke: Doing a Fantasia song could be the kiss o’ death. She needs to stop doing songs that invite us to compare her to bigger, better singers. I was impressed by the money note at the end; otherwise, just another forgettable performance. I did give her 2-1/2 stars. This could be her week to go home.

Jason Castro

“Somewhere Over the Rainbow” by Israel Kamakawiwo’ole, I think
Bunny: Did he say “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”? He did? I was hoping I was wrong. No matter how it goes, at least he’ll have a spot in Idol history for being the first to play a ukulele. Oh, it’s the eToys commercial/50 First Dates song—okay, I love that version! I like the rainbow lights on the audience, too; nice touch. And in the space of a minute and a half, I’ve gone from complete skepticism to thinking it’s brilliant. I’m seriously considering handing out my first 4-paw rating. Randy even pulls out his favorite word for Season 7: molten. And yes, I’m giving him 4 paws.

Burke: A ukulele? Really? Is this guy Idol material? He seems nice, but I’m so over the curb-side performances. I thought this was a singing competition, and he just doesn’t measure up for me. Sorry.

Kristy Lee Cook

“Anyway” by Martina McBride
Bunny: Beautiful song, great choice as an inspirational song. Nobody can equal Martina, but to be honest, I thought it was excellent and very moving, her best yet. And I like the possibly irony of the line “you can pour your soul out singing a song you believe in, that tomorrow they’ll forget you ever sang—sing it anyway.” I would like to see KLC wearing something other than that same glittery tank.

Burke: God is great. Kristy ain’t. But she is better than before. Sometimes I slay me.

David Cook

“Innocent” by Our Lady Peace
Bunny: The first verse is especially bizarre; I don’t like his lower register, at least in this song. This performance is not a thrill. I think it’s his first misstep. Will it hurt him? No. Paula thinks she’s the only one who caught the writing on his hand. No.

Burke: Unusual opening. His voice was flat when he wasn’t shouting. I didn’t like the Sergeant Pepper jacket.

Carly Smithson

“The Show Must Go On” by Queen
Bunny: She misses a note here and there; I don’t think she’s on point tonight, but it’s pretty good overall. She does have a rather militant demeanor as she sings, and Simon verbalizes my impression that she seemed angry.

Burke: I didn’t enjoy it. Bad song choice, angry performance, zero inspiration. This would have been a good place for a ballad instead of the angry-Irish-woman anthem.

David Archuleta

“Angels” by I’m sorry, I don’t know
Bunny: Could he have chosen a song that would make his fan base, the Arch Angels, any happier? I doubt it. He accompanies himself on the piano. I know the “mosh pit” occupants are told to clap over their heads, but I really, really hate it. It’s incredibly annoying. Who applauds like that? David’s performance is so-so for me. And he has his dad’s shirt on.

Burke: What can I say? Do you have any leftover words, Bunny? I just wasn’t moved. All I can muster is 2-1/2 paws.

Brooke White

“You’ve Got a Friend” by Carole King
Bunny: The song reveals that she isn’t a stellar vocalist, but most of us don’t care. I think she has her best moments in the middle, before the bridge.

Burke: I thought it was okay. I’m a Brooke fan, but does she have to cry after every song? She’s starting to tick me off.

PREDICTIONS

Bunny: As much as it surprises me to say it, David Cook is Bunny’s Bomb tonight. He won’t be leaving, though, unless there’s some cataclysmic shift in earth’s natural forces. Picking the one who will actually leave, though, is really tough. I think it’s possible for either Syesha, Carly, or Brooke to go, not that I think the latter two are ready. It might be Syesha Mercado’s last performance.

Burke: Winning the Burke’s Turkey designation tonight is David Cook. He was way off his game. Going home Thursday, though, will be Syesha Mercado.

Prognosticats: This evening’s hairball performance was doled out by Jason Castro, but Brooke White will be voted off.

Bunny: Top Dawg tonight is Jason Castro, easily. Did he show us anything new (besides the ukulele)? No. Somehow he manages to make it not matter.

Burke: My Top Dawg is Michael Johns.

Bunny: Join us tomorrow night for Idol Gives Back, and Thursday for the results!