American Idol top 4—Tambourines, tears, and torture
(aired May 6, 2008)
Are you ready for some rock and roll? We are. With 500 of the most influential rock songs ever to choose from tonight, the contestants have no excuse not to deliver some of their best performances yet.
Our guest commenters are back! We have 14-year-old Dew Bew and her dad, ALBERT, whose name must be written in all caps for reasons I have still not determined. A quick refresher on our rating system: Half a paw 
is the worst. Four paws 
is best.
David Cook
“Hungry Like the Wolf”
Bunny: It’s not a melodic song by any stretch of the imagination. He rocks out, but I’m not thrilled.
Burke: Good karaoke version. Nothing original, but I enjoyed it.
Dew Bew: He didn’t “doo-doo-doo-doo” 15 times. He didn’t do too well.
ALBERT: Let sleeping wolves lie.
Syesha Mercado
“Proud Mary”
Bunny: Wow. Where has this girl been all this time? She still seems to be imitating people too much rather than establishing her own vibe, but she gives it her all. The hair flipping seems a little calculated.
Burke: Wow. She’s become a dancer. A little cheesy, but she is really coming alive at the right time.
Dew Bew: Because of her performance, I think she deserves to brag a little.
ALBERT: We’re glad you had fun, Syesha. Next time, include us.
Jason Castro
“I Shot the Sheriff”
Bunny: It was inevitable that at some point he would do a Marley song. The dreads are swinging free and so is the guitar. He holds it but doesn’t play it all that much. Could Jason be throwing this contest? (Is it his to throw in the first place?) Paula still doesn’t issue an apology for last week, but she is given an opportunity by Ryan to “build Jason’s confidence” after the judges’ negative feedback.
Burke: I have to give him credit. He tried to be cool, but it wasn’t working for me. I don’t feel he wants to or deserves to be here.
Dew Bew: His knowledge of songs astounds me … still. He shot that song down.
ALBERT: When John Brown is dead, shoot me next.
David Archuleta
“Stand By Me”
Bunny: I love the drums and bass. The less formal T-shirt makes him look a little more mature, strangely enough. He sings it flawlessly, and it’s one of my favorite performances of his so far. As I’ve said before, I think I’ll like him much better in 5 or 10 years, but I can appreciate his obvious talent.
Burke: Breathy is back. Isn’t there a boy band somewhere who needs a lead? I found it consistent but stale.
Dew Bew: I really liked it and I don’t have anything else to say.
ALBERT: What was with the extra lyric at the end?
David Cook
“Baba O’Riley”
Bunny: He’s tackling The Who. There are a couple of flat notes. Did he look at the “mosh pit” when he sang the words “teenage wasteland”? I hope so. I liked it better than the first song. This is not a wow moment, but he would probably have to kill a kitten before he’s in trouble on this show. Sorry, Prognosticats. I didn’t mean to say that.
Burke: He has picked some ambitious songs tonight. Not his best ever, but his bar is set way above the others.
Dew Bew: Did he pay someone to shout “I love you” or was it his mom? With that lip curl, he would have been better off doing Elvis. His recording should go to the wasteland.
ALBERT: Big song. Not too bad, but I won’t be downloading that version. Sorry.
Syesha Mercado
“A Change Is Gonna Come”
Bunny: She sings it great, and her emoting has improved a lot. But a song that slow on rock and roll night just isn’t going to cut it. I’m not dissing Sam Cooke, but I think American Idol fans are expecting something more up-tempo and energetic. And after Randy’s negative comments, she emotes all over the place. She might even have gotten some emotion on Ryan’s suit.
Burke: Bad song choice. She has reverted to the old Syesha. Looks good but I wasn’t feelin’ it. She’s lucky Jason stinks or she’d be going home.
Dew Bew: The dress suits her. I love the way she did that song.
ALBERT: Nice voice. I wouldn’t have picked that song to get the crowd into it. Bad, bad choice.
Jason Castro
“Mr. Tambourine Man”
Bunny: For the second week in a row, Jason has to sing after a stinging critique. At least he earned this one. And he becomes another in a long line of contestants this season who flub the lyrics. He handles it better than the others did, though.
Burke: Pack your bags. That’s it. The party’s over.
Dew Bew: He can go wrong. All I heard was “puff-puff, ah-ah, puff-puff.” That he’s still here astounds me.
ALBERT: Was it pop? Was it unplugged? What kind of arrangement was that????????? I would have picked “Homeward Bound.”
David Archuleta
“Love Me Tender”
Bunny: He’s trying to keep his eyes open, but the squinting is worse than having them closed. It’s kind of a bore, so much so that we talked through the whole song.
Burke: Mr. Ballad strikes again. Didn’t like the arrangement. Elvis has left the building.
Dew Bew: Today the U-joint broke on our truck. This was worse.
ALBERT: Now we know what killed Elvis.
PREDICTIONS
Bunny: Ooh, rough crowd tonight. Lots of 1-Paw ratings given out. And ALBERT ate all the cookies.
Bunny’s Bomb is, sadly, Jason Castro. But I think Syesha’s second song choice will do her in, whereas Jason’s fan base will save him after a rough night. Whether or not he wants to be saved is the question.
Burke: Burke’s Turkey is Jason Castro, by far. Gobble gobble. Going home: Barring a miracle, it will be Jason.
Prognosticats: Hairball performance tonight was given by David Archuleta. Jason Castro will be voted off.
Dew Bew: Dew Bew’s Dud is Jason Castro, plain and simple. And he will go home.
ALBERT: ALBERT’S Albatross is Jason. He’ll be going home.
Bunny: My Top Dawg tonight is David Archuleta on the strength of his first song.
Burke: Top Dawg is David Cook.
Dew Bew: Top Dawg is Syesha Mercado.
ALBERT: Top Dawg is David Cook.
Prognosticats: We don’t like dawgs.
Bunny: See you tomorrow night, when we find out who will be in the top 3!