American Idol: And then there were 9

Aired 3/26/09

Bunny: Over 36 million votes were cast last night, meaning that I got at least one of the questions right at ew.com's Idol prediction challenge. To quote Kelly Clarkson, “cool beans”!

News flash: Not only have the Idol Powers That Be finally admitted that the group numbers are lip-synced, but they're officially not even trying anymore. The group number is lip-synced and prerecorded, at the same time. Yes. Why do they even need the theater? Or the dead microphones placed so prominently on the stage? Just assemble the necessary participants in Cowell's basement with an Idol backdrop and broadcast from there. They could give all the money saved to the kids in Africa since they're not doing “Idol Gives Back” this year. Or they could buy Simon some sparkly markers. Stickers, maybe.

I'd also like to ask: Why can't Megan sing like that all the time? I don't mean lip sync. The line that she sang during that number sounded great! C'mon, Joy!

The Ford commercial this week is set to “Pocketful of Sunshine.” I like the huge puzzle, but otherwise it's unremarkable.

Season 2 winner Ruben (What Have You Done For Me Lately) Studdard is here. I guess that's not fair; I simply don't listen to his genre much, so I probably just don't know what he's doing. He performs his song “Together.” He's singing and sweating just as well as always, although I'm not very excited by the song itself.

After a little chat between Ryan and the Idols about their visit to Detroit, we get into the results. Adam Lambert is first. Yeah, safe. Matt Giraud next. He is, surprisingly, in the bottom 3. Kris Allen stands up. He thinks he's headed to the B3 with Matt, but he is safe.

Then it's time for Lil Rounds and Michael Sarver. Ryan tells Lil that although “Heatwave” landed previous contestants in the B3, she has broken the bad streak, and Michael joins Matt in the silver stools that used to connote safety and now are only three buttprints from elimination.

Next, Joss Stone performs a song that I can only assume is called “You're The One For Me” with Smokey Robinson. It's a song choice that wouldn't fly if they were contestants, that's for sure. Smokey's eyes are freaking Burke out; he's heading to the back door to let Little Z back in the house. The Prognosticats are feigning indifference to the results. I guess they feel confident in their pick.

Allison Iraheta was in the bottom 3 last week, but America has wised up and kept her out of there this time. Anoop Desai is safe as well. We're up to Danny Gokey (who is wearing black or brown glasses, meaning I got another question right at ew.com!) He's safe, if you were so clue-deprived as to wonder. So we're down to Scott MacIntyre and Megan Joy. Another (sort of) surprise: Scott is in danger while Megan is safe.

So Larry, Moe, and Curly await their fate. Actually, Curly, Curlier, and Curliest. Ryan is sending one back to safety. Everyone thinks it should be Matt. It is not. Scott is safe.

Motown medley time from His Awesomeness Stevie Wonder, who goes from piano to keyboards and back to piano again and then harmonica. The songs are “My Cherie Amour,” “Superstition,” “Overjoyed,” and a song I didn't know, during which he awards shout-outs to both Barack Obama and American Idol.

I am amused by the Idols dancing on the couches (well, in front of), especially Megan, who struggles to keep the beat. In fact, at one point she almost loses her balance, not from dancing, but from woohooing. Anybody catch that?

So who's it gonna be? Leaving tonight (and I can say that because I know that no matter how well he sings right now, there's NO WAY ON EARTH they are going to use their Save on him) is Michael Sarver. He has the grace to laugh when he realizes he has to sing for his life after Stevie Wonder. As he takes another shot at “Ain't Too Proud To Beg,” another aptly named losing song, the female judges are dancing and the male judges are making it look like they're deliberating. They're actually making dinner plans.

Ryan then gives us our dose of weekly manufactured suspense by asking what they have decided. The answer is ... TGI Friday's. No, just kidding. They haven't decided. Yeah, right. You know, I like a little reality in my reality shows once in a while. There ain't none here. Finally Simon ends the charade and says bye-bye to Michael. He isn't a fantastic singer, but he has class.

So Michael Sarver joins Ejay Day, Julia DeMato, Amy Adams, Jessica Sierra, Lisa Tucker, Chris Sligh, and Chikezie Eze from Seasons 1 through 7, respectively, as a 10th-place finisher, having at least landed a seat on that tour bus.

SCORES

Bunny: 0/1
Wrong about Megan Joy
(Bunny's Bomb: 0/1)

Burke: 0/1
Wrong about Megan Joy
(Burke's Turkey: 0/1)

Prognosticats: 0/1
Wrong about Lil Rounds
(Hairball: 0/1)

Bunny: No real shockers tonight, unless you count Matt Giraud getting the second to lowest number of votes. However, I'm sure that's due more to his going first than anything else. See you next week for the top 9!

Tagged as: Results, top 10, top 9