Aired 5/13/09
Bunny: The “Night at the Museum” cast opens the show with some nonsense about the judges' desk being put in the Smithsonian. Oh, okay, Ryan says that part is true. Interesting. Kara, I really don't want to look at your armpits anymore. Please wave less enthusiastically.
The Ford music video is set to "Break My Stride" (originally done by Matthew Wilder), and appears to be inspired by A-Ha's famous “Take On Me” video. Is it just me or are these videos on a budget this year?
Alicia Keys is here and speaks briefly about how we can help children with HIV in Africa by texting ALIVE to 90999. Then she introduces “Noah,” a boy from Rwanda who sings “I'm The World’s Greatest.” He's got the moves! (Although some of them are rather Gokey-esque.) He learned the song in English in just one week, but I still don't understand 95% of it. Cute, though, especially when he shakes hands with each judge during his performance.
After the break, Danny is called up first for the news. Of course we won't actually get results just yet. If anyone but Adam was declared safe at this point, there'd be no point in watching the rest of the show. Ryan asks him about his friend Jamar Rogeres, and then we see a film of Danny's hometown visit to Milwaukee. There is lots and lots of screaming. And Adam isn't even there! But if the level of excitement for Gokey is any indication, the Adam clip will probably burst our eardrums. Anyway, Danny is sent to sit down for a while.
Now it's time to watch Kris' trip to Little Rock, Arkansas. He gets a hug from his dad that is as touching as the scenes of Elliott Yamin's mom that we remember so fondly. After that Kris is sent to the couch as well.
Jordin Sparks takes the stage to sing “Battlefield.” Wow, she is really blossoming. She really is a gorgeous girl. There is a lot more pitchiness than I expected, but her performance as a whole is dramatic and entertaining. But the applause is lukewarm. I always feel sorry for the previous winners who have failed to measure up to Kelly, Carrie, most likely David, and even non-winners such as Clay, J-Hud, and Chris.
Adam's turn. It's back to San Diego for his hometown meet and greet. He puts eyeliner on the weather lady at the local news station. A creepy grandmother type presses her face against his limo to see him. This is your life from now on, music theater guy, whether you win or ... win. There's no point in even using the other word. That reminds me: Why have scores of previous contestants been dismissed as “too musical theater,” but when the absolute personification of musical theater shows up, they fall all over themselves to declare him the best of the best?
Dim the lights, we're about to hear more quasi-results. The upshot is that Adam has to sit on the couch for a while too. Next to me on our couch, Burke wonders what happened to the group number. That's true—did the top 3 do one last year? I can't remember. I'll be right back. Okay, a trip to the dusty “Predict Idol” archives reveals that Grownup David, Adolescent David, and Syesha Mercado did “Ain't No Stopping Us Now” in Season 7.
Another break, and then Katy Perry does “Waking Up In Vegas” with Adam Lambert's name emblazoned on her Elvis/Superhero/Onesie outfit. I'm sorry, but this girl clearly cannot sing. I will admit to liking “Hot N Cold,” but this is terrible. Almost as terrible as the fact that she is allowed to not-so-subtly throw her (light)weight behind the foreordained winner. The Idol machine is obviously thumbing their nose at the teeming masses that have made this show the most popular one on television. Somebody sic Joan Rivers on Ken and Cecile, stat.
Finally, it is time. The first one through to the finale is, unbelievably, Kris Allen! So unless this is an upset of gargantuan proportions, Danny Gokey is going home. And indeed, he is. Adam Lambert is safe. Why they did it that way, who knows. Maybe since the judges have been slowly turning on him lately, they're just messing with him now, knowing that only Danny would be cocky enough to believe he could possibly usurp Adam's position.
As he sings himself out, for once the emotion seems real.
So Danny Gokey joins Nikki McKibbin, Kimberley Locke, Jasmine Trias, Vonzell Solomon, Elliott Yamin, Melinda Doolittle, and Syesha Mercado from Seasons 1 through 7, respectively, as a 3rd-place finisher.
SCORES
Bunny: 1/1
Right about Danny Gokey
(Bunny's Bomb: 1/1)
Burke: 1/1
Right about Danny Gokey
(Burke's Turkey: 0/1)
Prognosticats: 1/1
Right about Danny Gokey
(Hairball: 0/1)
Bunny: Well, well, well. Those of us who are not thrilled about the American Screamer being in the top 2 can at least take comfort in the fact that the Adam-Danny finale predicted eons ago by, well, just about everybody, but most notably Paula, will not be taking place. See you next week for ... ding-dong?
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John Stevens Red CD 2005 American Idol crooner ss 1 CENT | |
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{ 1 comment }
Why am I not surprised? DWD (Dead Wife Danny) Douche-Key is voted off!
Adam has clearly surpassed even my own predictions from 12 weeks ago, but Kris has gone even higher than expected—- at the Top Twelve week, I predicted Kris to go at #7.
I’m still not sure that “Gay Elvis” can win the whole enchilada, but with Douche-Key gone, its almost a certainty now!!!