Aired 4/1/09
Bunny: Tonight, as usual, there is some blathering from the judges, some fawning over one particular contestant, and more goofy faces from Megan Joy. We're off to a whiz-bang start.
The Ford music video uses the song “Mixed Up” from Corbin Bleu and shows split-screen images of the Idols. It is strangely disturbing, especially the Adam/Kris/Lil mixture, the Megan/Adam/Matt one, and the sight of Anoop in capri pants. I'd post some screenshots, but then I'd have nightmares.
Journey's “Don't Stop Believing” serves as the sacrificial lamb for tonight's group offering. The two most deserving contestants, Kris and Allison (in my humble but correct opinion), get the solos at the beginning of the song. Allison's softer voice is quite pretty. The rest of the act is unbelievably corny, awkward, and unnecessary. That's how we know it's the group number.
Ryan mentions the Judges' Save for about the, oh, 573rd cawzillionth time. I hate the overemphasis on this meaningless aspect of the result episodes.
We get a glimpse into the Idols' lives in between shows. It involves hundreds of cameras, pillow fights dangerously near the blind guy, and quadruple chocolate cake. Oh, and there's Alexis Grace. Thanks for reminding us, Idol. Meanies.
Now here's something new: contestants doing impressions of each other. It's one of the most genuinely funny bits I've seen on Idol in recent years. First Danny makes fun of Matt's Coldplay song, and he's dead on. Baa-a-a-a-a. Then Anoop imitates Kris' muppet-mouth singing. Hilarious. And Allison skewers Danny's gravelly "Jesus Take the Wheel" vocals and, in fact, is invited to do so by Danny himself. Even Matt doesn't seem to be taking himself too seriously and is able to have a laugh at his own expense. Which is good.
Well, which three in the above photo are in danger tonight? Hint: It's not the ones at 11 and 12 o'clock. Dim the lights!
Megan, Matt, and Kris are sent to one side of the stage. Adam, Lil, and Allison are put center stage. Scott, Danny, and Anoop are the third group. During the commercial break, my mind is working overtime. From all indications, the first group should be the bottom 3, but it's hard to believe Kris should be anywhere near it. The third group is also a good candidate for bottom-threedom, except for the Gokey factor. It's extremely unlikely that the middle group is the unfortunate trio, but then, again, stranger things have happened on this show. (Remember the three divas—Jennifer Hudson, Latoya London, and Fantastia Barrino—in Season 3?) And it's break time.
Ah, now here's a true Idol moment: David Cook performing—not live, but close enough—my favorite song from his debut album, “Come Back To Me.” Young'uns, pay attensh. His incredibly blingy mom is beaming proudly in the audience. The band sounds a little off, something I can't put my finger on, and it's not a perfect vocal, but still, it's Cookie. After the song, he is presented with the plaque commemorating his achievement of going platinum on his first, well, second, album. And he doesn't even shave!
Ryan's about to start sending people back to safety. He starts with Kris Allen. He is directed to the plush blue semicircles of security. Immediately it is clear that these people aren't grouped as we expected. There's going to be one bottom dweller in each group.
Matt Giraud is up next. Ryan's verbal shenanigans make him believe he is in the bottom 3 again, but he is then rerouted to the couches. I suppose the music should have clued us in. At Ryan's announcement, there was no “duh-DUH duh-DUH duh-DUH you're a pathetic loser” music, but rather the “you're a pathetic loser but we'll keep you around for another week” music. So what about Megan Joy, one of the most polarizing contestants ever to grace the Idol stage? She is not safe and ... she um, flies, over to the silver stools. Cawing. Really and truly. Next, Lil Rounds is sent to safety, and Allison Iraheta is told to join Megan. Uh-oh, Slezak's going to have a coronary.
Adam Lambert is sticking around, of course. Danny Gokey accepts his “safe” verdict with a nod and a satisfied smirk. But my bitterness is probably affecting my eyesight. So who's the last bottom-feeder—Anoop Desai or Scott MacIntyre? Hey, there's Jason Castro, sitting with Alexis Grace behind Randy, and I'm just now noticing! Anyway, Anoop Desai is in your bottom 3, ladies and gentlemen. Not a huge surprise, but really, it should have been Scott.
I don't even know what to say about the next segment. There's a pink piano filled with bubbles. A lady with George-Washington-meets-Dinah-Shore hair. There's enough fringe to put Lil Rounds' dress to shame. Some poor fella is having a seizure. There's bad makeup. Bad “singing.” More bad stuff I can't even begin to comprehend. I'm going to go lie down now...
Well, maybe I'll recover during the break. I guess it's official: I am a hopelessly old out-of-touch fuddy-duddy. One who uses terms like fuddy-duddy. This is the top download on iTunes? (“Poker Face” by Lady Gaga.) People like this stuff? They do? Huh. If that don't beat all. Sorry, youthful readers—I totally don't get it. And I'm kinda glad. [shudder]
Finally, one of the bottom 3 will be sent back to safety. It is Allison, thank goodness! She never ever should have been there in the first place. Who has to sing for their safety? It is Megan Joy, because Anoop is in the top 8.
Simon drops the bomb that they aren't even going to pretend to deliberate this time. They won't save her regardless of how she sings. I'm not sure whether to be happy that they're finally being honest, or angry because she doesn't get the fake second chance the others did.
So Megan Joy joins Jim Verraros, Corey Clark, Camile Velasco, Nikko Smith, Mandisa Hundley, Gina Glocksen, and Ramiele Malubay from Seasons 1 through 7, respectively, as a 9th-place finisher. Farewell, Lady CawCaw. Watch out for those super-clean glass windows.
SCORES
Bunny: 0/1
Wrong, as usual, about Anoop Desai
(Bunny's Bomb: 0/1)
Burke: 1/1
Right, as usual, about Megan Joy
(Burke's Turkey: 1/1)
Prognosticats: 0/1
Wrong, as usual, about Danny Gokey
(Hairball: 1/1)
Bunny: Thus ends my dream of predicting the winner after the auditions (although this year we missed a couple audition shows so we waited until the top 36 were revealed). I am happy to report, however, that my girl Megan lasted longer than Burke's pick of Michael Sarver and the Prognosticats' choice of Alexis Grace. Never mind that Alexis Grace was clearly the best of the three. Oh, well. There's always next year.
Oh, and Slezak—breathe, Michael, breathe.
{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
Now that Megan is gone, the folks at “Vote For The Worst” are now deliberating over WHO should be the next “Worst” contestant:
Even though Scott is the worst singer that remains, I doubt that VFTW will pick him because they would be picking on someone who’s disabled!