(aired 4/16/08)
Bunny: Is my favorite safe, Ryan? I need to know! Okay, I’ll wait. Grumble, grumble.
The group number is “One Sweet Day,” kicked off by solos from Jason and Kristy. David A. is apparently going through a leather phase. At times it sounds like they’re all singing different songs, each blissfully unaware of the others.
Before we go to last night’s recap, Ryan reminds us that there’s only one week left to vote on the Idol finale song at americanidol.com. There are 20 to choose from. I checked them out last night. Based on one listen, they all sounded like pretty typical Idol-finale fare, lots of dreaming and destiny and believing. There are a few that could be good in the right hands, or should I say, the right vocal cords.
Jason Castro is called out first. He’s starting to induce Archie-level screaming. He is asked to stand to one side of the stage. So we are doing the ridiculous “choose the top three” method for one unlucky contestant, are we? Loverly.
David Cook is told to stand on the opposite side of the stage from Jason. Carly Smithson is called up and is asked to join Jason. Then Kristy Lee Cook is sent to the Cook side. Both she and Carly have some criticism for Simon. Probably not smart. Maybe they feel they have nothing to lose. However, they are in different groups, so they are not both in the bottom three. Unless Idol is really switching it up on us this year.
The Ford commercial shows the Idols as marionettes working in an office. Some interesting subtext here.
Elliott Yamin is here—yay! He sings “Free.” He has jumped aboard the scarf train. At least it’s not a cravat. What a voice. He definitely should have won Season 5. He’s taken a cue from David C. and has written “We miss you, Mom” on his hand.
Ryan next calls Syesha Mercado. She surreptitiously sizes up the two groups. She joins Jason and Carly. Brooke White is called and, of course, is sent to the Cook group. Cook-Brooke-Cook. Little David looks lost backstage.
Now we get the call-in questions, which, as usual, I don’t feel like recapping. What strikes me most about this segment is that Paula is being attacked by her neckwear. A scarf, a necklace, and flowers?
It’s time for Mariah Carey to sing. I’ve never watched a complete Mariah performance. Does she always do that weird thing with her hands? It gives the whole number a very mechanical feel. Apologies to Miss Carey, but I think I would rather listen to Amanda Overmyer. What a coincidence—Mariah’s new CD is in stores today! How nice that it worked out that way! Gosh.
Finally, David A. is called front and center, and he shakes his head backstage, clearly in dread. Ryan declares him safe, and I’m thinking they might not make him choose. But David C. is asked to switch groups with Syesha, and then Ryan does ask David A. to choose which group is safe. Give me a break, Idol. This find-the-ball-under-the-cup game is making it hard for me to write this, and it’s only just begun!
According to unspoken idol tradition, David A. sits down in the middle of the stage, refusing to cooperate. Ryan encourages him to move over toward the safe group, David C., Carly, and Jason. Poor Archie doesn’t catch his drift, which is understandable; I’m confused, too. Ryan has to spell it out for everyone. The safe Idols sit down with Archie. Well, Carly can’t, because her skirt is almost as short as Mariah’s was.
I hate artificial suspense. Just tell us who’s out! Maybe next week, they can have them all sit in a row of chairs, and whoever doesn’t have a note taped to the bottom of their chair is going home, except, no, everybody else’s note says, if your name has an "O" in it, you’re in the bottom three and the person without a note is safe, except if you have ever worn a scarf on the show, switch places with somebody who has used glitter either on their face or body, except if you auditioned in a southern city, please go stand with someone who has played an instrument but only if it was before the top 9, and then everybody please hang from the railing here and the first one to let go is, I’m so sorry, leaving us tonight.
So Kristy Lee, Brooke, and Syesha are the bottom three. After the break, Syesha is sent back to safety. Not the result I want to see. Both Brooke and Cook have more to offer in my opinion.
In the end, saying goodbye tonight is … Kristy Lee Cook. She joins Ryan Starr, Kimberly Caldwell, Jennifer Hudson, Anwar Robinson, Ace Young, and Sanjaya Malakar, from Seasons 1 through 6, respectively, as an American Idol 7th-place finisher.
Now she can go and try to convince that guy to sell Trigger back to her. She begins her song perched on the judges’ table, singing to Simon. I think her sense of humor and attitude deserve more credit than she has been given. Happy trails to you, Kristy!
SCORES
Bunny: 0 out of 1
Wrong about Brooke White
(Bunny’s Bomb: 0 out of 1)
Burke: 0 out of 1
Wrong about Syesha Mercado
(Burke’s Turkey: 0 out of 1)
Prognosticats: 0 out of 1
Wrong about Jason Castro
(Prognosticats’ Hairball: 0 out of 1)
Guest commenter K: 1 out of 1
Right about Kristy Lee Cook
Bunny: For the record, the only one who predicted tonight's results correctly is our guest commenter, K! Way to go, K! This being-wrong-all-the-time thing is no fun. Burke maintains his one-point lead on Bunny, and three-point lead on the Prognosticats.
It's Andrew Lloyd Webber tunes next week—see you then!
