Bunny: American Idol is back in Atlanta with high hopes, since this is where we first met Clay Aiken, Jennifer Hudson, and Fantasia Barrino. Will the city churn out another Idol or almost-Idol, or at least someone who can do justice to “And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going”?
This is also Ryan’s hometown, and at one point in the show, Ryan’s parents appear. He seems to have a very formal relationship with them, but who can tell with the way they edit these broadcasts.
First to sing is Joshua Jones, who has a passion for glass. He says that if his music career takes off, he would still want to work with glass. Then he contradicts himself by saying that if he makes it to Hollywood, he will throw his glass cutter as far as he can. Hmmm. He sings “Don’t Stop Me Now” by Queen.
Burke: I like him, but Queen is a bad choice—too hard to sing. He almost blows it.
Bunny: The judges have a problem with Joshua’s weird eye-widening thing when he sings. It scares them, so they make him turn around and sing to the Idol backdrop. Simon says they should have done that to Clay years ago. I can think of quite a few others that would have worked well for. Anyway, turns out Joshua does sound better from behind. He gets Yeses from Paula and Randy, but a “too karaoke” from Simon. So he’s going to Hollywood, but I think he’d better keep that glass cutter nearby.
Next up is J.P. Tjelmeland. His claim to fame is that he was two spots ahead of Carrie Underwood in the Season 4 auditions. He wishes he had taken the opportunity to get to know her before her rise to fame. However, he feels he is destined to be famous himself. He chooses to sing “Me And My Gang,” to which Simon replies, “That’s a good song.” ??? I thought he hated country music. Unfortunately for J.P., Simon says his pen has more charisma. The judges are shocked that J.P. is a music major.
Burke: I only understood like 5 words throughout that audition, “California” and “me and my gang.”
Bunny: He is sent away empty-handed, and no doubt Simon is back to hatin’ on country.
Then, as if we don’t hear enough blathering from the judges already, we see a potpourri of Paula-prattle to the accompaniment of “I Cain’t Say No” from the Ado Annie character in Oklahoma! She’s in a turrible fix with Simon constantly trying to pry a straight Yes or No answer out of her. “What you gonna do when he talks that way … spit in his eye?”
Asia’H Apperson is our next contestant and is auditioning under tragic circumstances. Her father died two days ago in a car accident, which she learned about while she was on her way to Atlanta. The only girl in a family of boys, she loves to sing and worked her butt off to get here. Due to the situation, she changes her audition song to “How Do I Live” by LeAnn Rimes, a gutsy move.
Burke: I don’t really enjoy her husky, breathy voice—is she fighting a cold or is it just the emotion? But she definitely gets the “ability-to-rise-above” vote.
Bunny: She does have a little breaks in her voice and it sounds like singing is difficult for her, and I mean physically, not just emotionally. But the judges love her, and Simon seems truly impressed. After Asia’H leaves, Paula is in tears and has to step out for a moment. It is a moving audition. And if she can hold it together on a day like today, she’ll be able to sing the night she gets voted off, which I’m sure is very tough.
The next contestant, Miss South Florida Fair, is Brooke Helvie, who has been performing since age 4. My first thought is, Oh, no, not another one who has always been told she’s the cat’s meow.
Big Z: Like that’s a bad thing?
Bunny: Oh, go back to sleep. Anyway, Brooke wants to prove to Simon that “pageant” girls don’t always give “pageant” performances. I am expecting trouble. But land sakes, the girl really can sing! Simon thinks she’s possibly the most annoying person he’s ever met (has he already forgotten Kellie Pickler?), but she gets through with three Yeses. She proclaims her love for Simon (to which he responds, “I Know”). Don’t forget she kisses pigs, Simon. But at least now Amy Flynn can rest assured she is no longer the most obnoxious contestant.
Burke: I like her, but she’s not as good as she thinks she is.
Bunny: Okay. Let’s move on. As far as montages go, the next one is not bad. Well, it’s bad, of course, but funny. Not surprisingly, lots of people are singing “Glamorous” this year by Fergie, including the decidedly unglamorous. And people, if you’re going to sing a song with a spelled word, spell the word correctly. And it’s not “grammarous,” although a little grammar wouldn’t hurt either.
According to Ryan, this year there’s less hospitality and more attitude in Atlanta. Proving his point is Eva Miller, who loves Simon almost as much as she loves herself. She performs “A Thousand Miles” by Vanessa Carlton. During said performance, she slips on a piece of paper and does a pratfall. Simon wants to know if it’s all an act, which is exactly what it looks like to me. However, Eva is able to look him in the eye with a straight face and tell him it was a dead serious audition and the fall was an accident.
Burke: Not a good singer, but she may have a chance at American Stuntwoman.
Bunny: She doesn’t get a golden ticket, but she still loves Simon and gets a hug. Atlanta is definitely good for his ego.
Alexandrea Lushington, 16, brings her great-grandmother, 93, to the audition, as well as a flock of other family and/or friends. Ryan chats up great-grandma while Alexandrea auditions. She gets three quick Yeses for her rendition of “My Funny Valentine.” She hugs GG, who says, “Don’t let me cry because they’re taking pictures.” Too cute.
Burke: Alexandrea is skilled beyond her years.
Bunny: I agree.
Next we have a series of red-haired contestants who would love to follow in Clay Aiken’s footsteps. There’s Michael Gregory, with red hair and geeky glasses; Chris Lars, with a red beard and some sort of kilt; and Jared Wiley, who, despite his football-player appearance, has a lisp that would put Kevin Covais to shame. They are all Nos.
Now we meet Nathan Hite, 16, who promises to have “witty retorts” for Simon. After seeing his audition, one wonders if the only reason he came today is to trade wisecracks with the acerbic judge. Before he begins, he wants to know how much he is allowed to move around on the “stage” area. He doesn’t seem to need that info, though, because his movement is limited to an aimless sidestep. Simon calls it a “bedroom” audition, one in which it’s obvious that is where the contestant has been practicing. Nathan lets loose with a series of “witty retorts,” leading his mother, who’s waiting in the hall, to confide to Ryan that he’s “lippy.” You don’t say. I have to admit he has Simon pegged in a way, though.
Burke: Nice move admitting you’re a 9th-grade repeater on national TV. I have a feeling he’ll go far in life.
Bunny: Nathan is not going to Hollywood.
But how about Amanda Overmyer, the requisite motorcycle/goth chick who’s a respiratory nurse? Predictably, she sings a Janis Joplin song. Simon wants to hear something else, so she does “Travelin’ Band.” I’m sorry, but to me she sounds like Kimberly Caldwell with laryngitis. I don’t think she’ll be versatile enough to go far. Randy says “a trillion percent yes,” though, Paula says she’s the female Chris Daughtry, and Simon also gives her a Yes.
Burke: She obviously does well with rock songs, but I share your skepticism about other genres.
Bunny: We’ll find out next week if she’ll make it past the Hollywood round.
Last on Day One here in Atlanta is Josiah Leming, who has been living in his car but wouldn’t call himself homeless. His family thinks he’s been staying with friends. He says he has more ambition and motivation than any other 18-year-old you’re likely to meet but admits to being lonely and scared. I like him right away and find myself hoping he can sing. He performs his own song, “To Run.” It is rough at first but gets better. Unfortunately, his arm movements are awkward and he seems to sing with a British accent, although I didn’t catch that until I watched it a second time. Simon requests “Chasing Cars.” (I don’t remember hearing Simon ask for a second song before, and now he’s done it twice in one night.) Randy thinks Josiah would be better in a band, but Paula thinks he has layers we haven’t discovered yet. I think she’s right, actually. He gets three Yeses, and he guarantees they won’t regret it. Simon’s happy because “the British are taking over.”
Burke: Sad story. He sounds weird to me and does strange things with his arms. How did he get three Yeses? I thought the charity vote had already been used up.
Bunny: Ouch. I like him, and I’m not sure exactly why.
So 20 from Atlanta are going to Hollywood, added to the 100 or so from the other audition cities. We won’t make our predictions until after tonight’s show, which, presumably, is Atlanta Day Two. See you soon!
PREDICTIONS
Bunny: Not much to choose from here, but I like Brooke Helvie (in spite of myself) and Josiah Leming.
Burke: The car guy? You liked that? I choose Brooke Helvie and Alexandrea Lushington.
Prognosticats: Interestingly enough, the cats’ picks are the same as Bunny’s, Brooke Helvie and Josiah Leming.
