The guys take the stage (American Idol, aired 2-19-08)

Bunny: Finally, finally, finally we get to the first actual American Idol performance show. We can't wait to get started.

Asked for his thoughts on this highly praised top 24, Randy says this group is more original than ever. Let’s hope his comments this year show some originality. Paula says something about how often Randy says “dawg,” which means she and I are thinking alike, and this frightens me immeasurably.

I find it interesting that Simon lists what they’re looking for as “personality, originality, and singing ability,” in that order. Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but I didn’t think personality was that high on his list.

Ryan says the judges did a great job of finding this group of contestants, and that I can agree with. We’re anxious to see what the boys can do with ‘60s night, so let’s get on with it, shall we?

Leading off with the first real performance of American Idol Season 7 is David Hernandez. He needs to win over Simon and be memorable to the voting public in order to offset his disadvantage. His opening of “In the Midnight Hour” by Wilson Pickett is very effective, and I’m thinking, I didn’t know he could sing this well. He has a few affectations, though, and he seems awfully serious. He does have an excellent, powerful voice. Randy says he should watch his long phrasing. Paula thinks the way he colors up his vocals is brilliant. Simon says it’s better than he thought it would be but thinks he should loosen up.

Burke: Ray Romano, Jr. It’s a good song choice, but unlike you, I didn't like the slow opening. He must be nervous because his feet never move, and that's a good song to dance to. The last couple of notes are bad, but he has good power. I like him. Just step it up, man.

Bunny: In the number two spot is Chikezie, and I am sad they dropped the “Eze.” It’s still fun to say but not as much, even though Eze is not pronounced “easy” anyway but more like EH-zay, if I remember correctly from the audition. It takes a special kind of man to wear a suit the color of fresh-squeezed Florida citrus. The first notes of “More Today Than Yesterday” by Spiral Starecase seem to be in an awkward key for him, but it gets better. He has a nice smile while he sings. Randy thinks it’s a’ight. Yea-yea-yea-yea. So much for more original comments from the dawg. Paula loves him. Simon hates everything, including the suit. It’s harsh, but Chikezie almost loses my vote by slinging insults back about Simon’s monochromatic clothing choices and saying he’s sorry Simon didn’t “get” what he was doing. Oh, brother. I think this competition needs Chikezie, but that attitude won’t win votes. He would have been so much more charming if he could have laughed off the suit comment at least, the same way he handled Simon calling him Jacuzzi. Déjà vu #1: We begin another season of the endless struggle between judges who want to see relevancy to the current-day music industry and the under-25 crowd who can’t understand how to do that when the theme consists of a previous decade’s music.

Burke: He doesn’t seem to get going until halfway through the song. I like the look; the voice is good. It does seem old-fashioned, though. He does too much talking back.

Bunny: David Cook is next. I think it’s great he recognizes it was good for him that Simon said no in Hollywood because it would have made him overconfident to hear a yes from all three judges. He sings “Happy Together” by the Turtles. Boys and girls, this is how to make an older song relevant and give it a dose of your own style. I’m not a fan of the hairstyle (which, by the way, Paula shares tonight) but I think the performance is great. It’s the perfect halfway point between the original and the more manic Simple Plan version. I can see he’s going to be a mic-stand thrower-arounder, following in the footsteps of Bo Bice and Chris Daughtry. I like the twirl he gives it at the end, though. Neither Randy nor Simon seem to have heard Simple Plan’s rendition because they are surprised to hear the song sung that way, but the general feeling from the judges is thumbs up.

Burke: He’s too smug for my taste, but good song, good performance. He’ll stick around.

Bunny: Jason Yeager, one of the “unknown” contestants, sings next. We finally get to see his original audition and his cute son, Nathan, who looks to be about 7 or 8, and is very proud of him. He croons “Moon River” by Andy Williams (and almost every other singer of that generation), an interesting choice, and I don’t think it works for him. Since he has to blow us away out of the gate to remain in this thing, he needs to do something different with it to convince America he’s a contemporary artist. It comes out sounding rather Disney. (Okay, I just went to find out, and lo and behold—it was in a Disney flick, Pocahontas, although I don't see it on the soundtrack.) But he’s a nice-looking guy with a nice voice. I hope he sticks around. Randy says he needs to maintain his concentration throughout a song. Paula did her first ballet recital to that song, which is an open invitation for Simon to poke fun; he says he bought his first puppy to that song. His feeling is that Jason is a dependable old dog but that it was a cruise ship performance. Ryan wants to know what it feels like in the gut to get that criticism, which is kind of like those sports reporters who stick mics in the losing players' faces after a game and ask them how it feels to be losers.

Burke: It’s your first chance to sing in front of America, and you choose “Mooooooon Riiiiver”? C’mon! The song choice is forgettable at best, but I like the tone of his voice. I don’t see him getting many votes. Oh, and he reminds me a little of Matt Damon.

Bunny: Now it’s Robbie Carrico’s turn at bat. He once toured with Britney Spears and, I hear, dated her as well. He does resemble Justin Timberlake (I thought that before Ryan said it). We get to see him in Hollywood without his ever-present headwear. He does a nice job with “One” by Three Dog Night. At first I think he’s forgetting lyrics, but on a quick double-check at Three Dog Night’s site, no, they are kind of repetitive and not all that clever, really. Randy loves the song, and Paula says he picked the perfect song for him; I agree it was a good choice. Simon’s opinion is that it was the first current-sounding performance of the night, but he’s not sure if Robbie is really a rocker or if he’s still figuring out who he is. Well, I know who he is: He’s my underdog pick to win, so he’d better stick around.

Burke: I’m not a big fan of his look. I like the song choice. He doesn’t hit the high notes with any power, but it’s a good performance.

Bunny: David number 3, David Archuleta, sings “Shop Around” by the Miracles. I’ve never been crazy about the song, no matter who does it, but Wonder Boy does a great job with it. His talent is undeniable, and I love how he finishes off the song. Déjà vu #2: As with Jordin Sparks last season, I’ve no doubt we’re going to hear “you’re so mature for 17” every time he sings. Sigh. We’re only at the halfway point of the night, but Simon says it’s the best so far by a comfortable mile. David’s “aw shucks” laugh might get a little old, so he might want to look into retiring it before long, but it can be forgiven on the first night of competition. Ryan reminds viewers that they can vote for David but not adopt him. Awwww.

Burke: He does a nice job and has good stage presence. I’m not as enthusiastic as the judges. It doesn’t impress me until the big finish. He always sounds kind of out of breath to me. He’s not my favorite but will get the big teenage vote. No worries for a while for the giggly boy.

Bunny: Starting off our second half is Danny Noriega. He wants to bring “swagger and attitude” to his performance. He breaks into Elvis’ “Jailhouse Rock.” Okay, I didn’t expect that. He seems to have fun with it, and he should get the prize for having to remember the most lyrics of the night. Randy: “Interesting song choice for me for you.” Which is it, dawg? Paula gives her usual meandering comment, this one again having something to do with colors. Simon says it was almost grotesque, that he destroyed an Elvis Presley song, and that it would turn off any first-time viewers who happen to tune in to the show. Déjà vu #3: Paula talking over Simon the second he says anything negative, making me wish, not for the first time, for a selective mute button on my remote.

Burke: Sorry, Danny boy, Elvis has left the building. Simon got it right, but he’ll be safe for a while.

Bunny: We finally get to know a little about Luke Menard, who works as a carpet cleaner. He was cut during Hollywood week in Season 6, as were Chikezie and Danny Noriega. He gives the impression of being a nice, down-to-earth clean-cut guy, without actually being totally clean-cut. He sings a Harry Nilsson song, “Everybody’s Talkin’.” I love the song, but I’m thinking he’s in trouble. I wish he had put a little more power in it, and it might have helped if he had worn something more suited to the performance than a hooded jacket. At least he hit the last high note. Randy points out that it was consistently sharp. Paula makes note of the “Kenny Loggins tenderness” in his voice. Simon says it was forgettable, and unfortunately, he’s right. There’s some awkward chat between Ryan and Luke, wherein Luke, too, disagrees with the judges and overestimates his own unforgettableness quotient. Classic case of song choice killing a contestant’s chances before they even get started.

Burke: Likable guy, but nobody will be talking about him. He sings so softly the music drowns him out.

Bunny: Colton Berry is playing up his widely commented-on resemblance to Ellen DeGeneres, but he reminds me more of Mike White (Ned Schneebly) from "School of Rock." I suppose it was inevitable that on '60s night, a certain percentage of the guys would choose Elvis Presley songs, and this makes number two, “Suspicious Minds.” Déjà vu #4: Randy again not being able to give a critique without qualifying it with “for me.” You’re a grown man, Randy; own your opinions, don’t be afraid! Simon’s complaint is that it’s not relevant to today’s music industry but is more suited to musical theater. Ryan’s questioning of the judges after they’ve given their comments sometimes makes things worse, not to mention gives Paula another opportunity to speak, which never seems to turn out well.

Burke: Tell you what, Colton: I’ll let you out of the trap you’re caught in if you promise to never, ever sing an Elvis song again. “Eager and fun attempt” is the best Paula had. Simon got it right again, and that says it all.

Bunny: As a child of the ‘70s, the first thing I thought when I saw Garrett Haley last week was Leif Garrett. Obviously I’m not the only one who remembers He of the Luxurious Wavy Blond Mane. Would I have been reminded of him if his name wasn’t Garrett? Not sure; I probably would have made the Frampton connection instead. But I digress. At issue here is the singing. Is he better than Leif? Well, I’m not thrilled. He does “Breaking Up Is Hard To Do” by Neil Sedaka. It’s a little nasally. On the plus side in my book, however, is the fact that he is trying to learn from the judges, even though understanding them is often a challenge. This makes me want to vote for him. Randy says it was boring and wishes he’d done more with it. Paula suggests that he work with the band more to arrange songs differently. And Simon is now the one obsessed with colors. Among other things, he says Garrett is too pale. He thinks he needs to be more relevant, and I’m thinking the same thing about his “too pale” comment.

Burke: It’s a bad song choice and a forgettable performance. But I think I like him the best of the teenie boppers. Once again, the tireless female voting public will keep him around for a while.

Bunny: Next is Jason Castro, the second Jason and our last as-yet unknown contestant. He has a striking look with the blue eyes and dreadlocks, though I’m not partial to dreads myself. He is the only one tonight to make use of the new allowance for instruments. He strums and sings “Daydream” by The Lovin' Spoonful. He seems a little rushed in the middle and there are a couple cringe-worthy notes, but he’s got an interesting vibe. Randy’s not blown away, Paula is, and Simon says he’s one of the top two of the night, which surprises me coming from him, and also talks about his effortlessness and charisma (after finding out from Paula what color it was: a blend of every favorite color she knows). I didn’t expect to like Jason C., but so far, yup, liking him.

Burke: It’s just all right for me. He’s not on my list of favorites. He has John Travolta eyes. He should be on a street corner with a guitar case open in front of him.

Bunny: One of the only times coming in last is an enviable position is on Idol performance night, and tonight Michael Johns gets that distinction. Does he look like Tim Daly to anyone else? He sings the Doors' “Light My Fire,” which I’ve already heard this too many times this season. It just isn’t a song that really showcases one’s range or ability to remember lyrics, so I wasn’t impressed as I thought I would be, but still, he’s good, and I’m loving the accent of course. Randy says “I luh dat,” and Paula proclaims it an excellent way to end the night. Simon says he’s the most consistent contestant with the natural charisma of a lead singer.

Burke: Good song, good performance. Now he is one of my favorites so far. He’s mature and confident on stage and a great contrast to all the “boy band”-ish contestants.

PREDICTIONS

Bunny: As we said, we’re going to be picking both who should go home and who will go home. So who do I think should go? As much as I hate to say it, Luke Menard and Jason Yeager deserve to get cut. They needed to be great out of the gate but just didn’t make the most of their opportunity. My picks for who will go home are the same—Luke Menard and Jason Yeager—since I think the voting will reflect what I just said.

Burke: Who would I send home if it were up to me? Burke’s Turkeys of this round are Danny Noriega and Colton Berry. You just can’t do that to the Elvis classics. But who will be going? Jason Yeager and Luke Menard. Their soft voices and lack of stage presence will do them in and they’ll be saying goodbye.

Prognosticats: We weren’t impressed with the caterwauling of Michael Johns and David Cook. We think they should leave. But actually leaving us will be Garrett Haley and Robbie Carrico. Where's that tuna again?

Bunny: O…kay. Can’t say I agree with the felines’ random choices, but stranger things have happened on Idol. The girls perform tonight, so join us again tomorrow for reviews!